Finally, able to beat the summer wave with a cooling system. Now, that I’m not delusional, I’m veering back where I need to be–establishing myself as a writer. With the semi-free time I have, I found myself indulging my face and gaining hell of pounds, I utterly regret. I asked myself. Why am I nervous? What is frightening me so that I rather cripple my own progress? Drowned by confusion, I wrote to myself:
Where have you been me?
Why am I hiding? From what? From whom?
Fear. From failure. From yourself.
I see. I understand. I wore the mask, blending. A part of me slipping, withered. Untraceable.
Losing sight. Losing yourself.
Yet, tonight, I found that part of me. You. And the veil descended. My fears and apprehension, I kept at bay flooded. Pooling repressed memories, goals that required me to stand in an innovative light above the surface. Away from the depths of the ocean. The comfort, I’ve grown accustomed. I relived them all.
Do not think less, for others see what you demonstrate. Wear your fears as you wear your heart.
Progress is progress. No matter how small the step may be.
Life is fleeting and unpredictable and everyday deserves your best.
With that said, as skull pounding the anticipation maybe, go. Time to see if you’re the writer, you dreamed.
What I feared, I thought I conquered only to be astonished that I’m rooted. I love writing, reading, pretty much anything that involves refining my craft, I’m all game. But like many, I’m quite terrified of the opinions and criticism of others— at first. I was also immobile for a while about my blog, debating if it was something I wanted to continue, knowing damn well, I did. I’m at that same point. Do I really want to try and make a career with my writing? Hell yes, I do! Knowing the rejections and failures along the way is, well, you know. I’m sure.
We all have our own way of overcoming our doubts. My way is immersing myself completely, leaving no room to wander. Which brings me to this week’s realization. Camp NaNoWriMo. It starts July and I signed up. It was advised to focus on shorts, I can work on publishing. Get my name out there to readers. I’m sure, they’ll love some of K.S.
For my NaNoWriMo project, I’ll be writing seven short stories averaged around three thousand words each. Phase One: Brainstorm.
Summer activities are not hinder by my own agenda. There’s a park, I’ve grown fond of. Serene, cool, and lots of shade. Best part, no playground equipment, which means less distractions. We took the kiddos down by the pond a few times. Bubba wants to go fishing and Leah loves feeding the ducks, until they flock around her. Hehe.
There’s also a garden trail up the pathway on a hill. Of course, I took some shots.