Cheer Up…  How? 

​As the cold fingers of depression sunk their nails into my already worn mind,  I’ve noticed my lack of interest of everyday enjoyment,  priorities need to be kept and my own ambiguous goals. You would think with this awareness I would’ve counter this in some way. I’ve tried. Many times. I’ve switched up my routine,  thinking the change would halt the dark hole stretching it’s way toward me. Well, it doesn’t. And these past months have proven so. What I have learned that my cycle of guilt normally  fruit when a certain situation arise. A certain someone so dear to me that their pain is my own. When I talk about it to my parents, my mother doesn’t understand amongst the other 85% of my family. Hell, I don’t either. All I know is what I feel. And that feeling has always grown when I’m embraced by icy hands. This go around, I let it all sink in and somehow observed like I’ve astral projected.  I’ve noticed the cause and the guilt weighing down on me. Either I could change, although I’d liked to. It comes with life. So, I tell myself 😒

Now how to move on knowing that the will of others close will and have an impact on me physically,  emotionally, and mentally. Hmmm… 

As I read over my own thoughts, I say to myself is this for real? Yes it is. And it is just a part of me that’ll I have to embrace. Easier said than done. 

That’s my internal conflict.  Do you have any inner battles you’re comfortable sharing?  If so,  post in the comments below. Don’t be shy! I’m not that crazy 😉

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