Isolated in the Dark

Time continues even when the hands haves stopped for me. I watched a movie a while back called Lucy. I’m not sure what scene it was but Lucy (the main character) figured that with greater knowledge we would lose what it means to be human. That our existence, our legacy is brought upon by the ancient and continuous use of time. Time defines us. So, as I am sitting here wasting mine, what would become of me?

Not sure, really. I feel like my life is trap in an infinite loop created by none other than myself. Imprisoned by my own mistakes and the means after in correcting those mistakes.

*sigh*

In truth, I am a lost black sheep. Not sure where my true herd is or where I am supposed to wander.

Is it strange that I have goals and yet they are unreachable because of my own made obstacles? How do you fix a part of yourself that is keeping you from progressing, when you feel as lonely and broken as a forgotten animal left to defend itself in the wild?

Fight or flight?

How about survive?

My daughter loves the animation movie The Croods. At the beginning the cavemen family share the tale of their life from the perspective of their eldest daughter, Eep. They live by a set of rules. And those rules keep them from enjoying, experiencing, living life. They are bound by their own fears awaiting the day time takes their last breath.

Am I living that life? Is what I am doing meaningless in terms of what I want to accomplish?

*laughs timidly*

Couldn’t tell you. I have no idea myself. All I can do is keep trying and have faith that my efforts will pay off. Hopefully.

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