Careful, Wishes Can be Deadly

What makes life spectacular? Is it our accomplishments? Our values? Friends and Family?

I’m sure it’s all of the above, but most importantly, it’s the fact that we are living. We are given consciousness to experience life like no other creature on this wonderful planet. Humans are dangerous and yet marvelous beings who are able to succeed their own limitations, sometimes only with hope.

What if one day the life you known, the good or the bad, was taken from you?

For me, it was the wakeup call I needed to realize what really is important about life. It’s not what I haven’t or have done. It’s not what I want to do or where I want to be. It’s a combination of everything. A balance of virtuous and malevolence. Reaching out to Eve’s apple, running my finger down its round bosom and then walking away just before the temptation strangles me in its grip. It’s the experience.

To experience life, however, I want to.

So, what makes life spectacular? Whatever I do. My actions, who I surround myself with, my perspective. That’s what makes my life spectacular.

I talked about a cycle of darkness. A cycle of incompleteness. Wanting to die because I didn’t know my purpose. Because I felt that I wasn’t living to the expectations of how I should be living for my children and myself.

Well, one faithful August day, none of that matter because my life ended. I died. I died and when I came back everything wasn’t the same anymore. What I thought was important was remedial to not being around my children and family.

Be careful what you wish for, truly. The darkness I experienced, I never want to experience ever again.

To hear my three-year-old daughter tell me to never leave her again, broke every empty resolve I had within. To embrace my son and shudder in tears because he was staying strong for me. To see my fiancé nearly brake, himself, because life flopped in less than a second. To have my father at my bedside for days on end, praying, clinging on to life for me. To see my sister, stubborn as in ox, in tears and my mother beside herself in worry.

It’s frightening, knowing that within a second there was 67% chance of not making it out alive.

Life has changed me.  I was reborn stronger. I was reborn wiser. I was reborn knowing what really matters in my life. I’m even more determined to reach my goals now, but now, I have a stronger mindset.

I still have long recovery ahead of me, and yes, I’m still a little down because during my hospitalization a lot occurred, finically amongst others.

But,

I was given a second chance. I’ll never take life for granted again. I may not be where I want to be now, but I’m going to enjoy the hell out of life until I get there.

08-24-16

A little rough, bear with me 😛

2 Comments on “Careful, Wishes Can be Deadly

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