…I Just Need to Know
-Of Course, Always.
It’s a beautiful rainy day here in Oklahoma—for me 😊☔☁🌈
Hope everyone enjoyed their weekend.
Writing has been blissful nonetheless. I had this crazy idea about a short story that I’ve been feverishly working on. Once I’ve completed the handwritten draft, I promise to post a tiny weeny snippet 😏
Here’s a hint… emoji style! ✨🎩🐇🐲 and there are eggs, because they are no egg emoji 😤
*sighs heavily with head down* Okay.
As we know, there are times where I post sensitive life events that some probably don’t.
As we also know, I am me. I’m a strange woman with a strange mind. I think a lot and many times I just want to share without the verbal feedback.
This blog has helped me realize what I lack in myself and how to grow from the mistakes I’ve made. This is somewhat my journal and in my journal there’s everything. Everything about me.
Moving on to the real discussion—Domestic Violence.
The past few months, I have been supporting a close friend of mine. She’s going through an awful cycle of abuse, in which she cannot—at the moment—escape from.
For those whose doesn’t understand why a person would stay in relationship where they are getting abuse emotionally, mentally, and physically, I’m here to help clear that understanding somewhat.
In the past, I was abused emotionally and mentally. It didn’t occur to me that I was being mistreated. I thought it was healthy being told how to live, where to work, who to have around. Although, it was exhausting and stressful, I honestly believed that it was love.
It took me two years and half to open my eyes and see what others saw and when I did… Well…. This was my consequence:
I don’t like to dwell in the past, but I strongly believe the past defines who we are today. Slowly, I’ve overcame the barricades of self-doubt, insecurity, and self-pity. I love who I am and don’t take anyone’s objection of what they think I should be.
My friend’s, however, eyes are not open. As she struggles between what could be and what really is happening, she’s gradually losing herself to the lies and abuse.
Once your heart entangles in their toxic embrace, honestly, it’s difficult to break free—even when you know you should. That is why having a strong support system is important. I recommend these tips, which I’m sure some of you have already read or heard.
- Have an open mind and ear— sometimes your love ones/close friend will come to you about “good” changes in their relationship. They will tell you everything is okay and what they plan to do to make things better. Please, don’t shut down their ideas right away. They might feel they can’t speak to you anymore because they know it’s only hurting you. Listen. Provide positive feedback, and depending on what they say and how dangerous the situation, share your opinions.
- Don’t be afraid to speak the TRUTH— You can tell when the time has come to speak about reality. You’ll know, because your close friend will tell you, even though seven out of ten times they will go back. Back them up! Give them proof of why their relationship is toxic, and always offer a hand to boot their abusive partner to the curve.
- Stay Comfortable— Have fun. Do activities you know they would enjoy. Get back to the normal routines when you can. The simple things really show you care about them and not who they are with.
- NEVER WALK AWAY— It’s frustrating seeing your love ones getting hurt and sometime you might feel like you can’t do anything to help. BUT! Don’t let the jerk hurting your love ones keep you from them. Sometimes urging them to leave gives the jerk the upper hand. Remember their job is to isolate your love ones. Don’t give them any reason to.
- Have a Plan B—Now, this can go for anything. My close friend and I have a safety word we would use if we are in a life threatening position. It’s good to choose a word that isn’t normally spoken. For us it’s a color. We also have each others full address and phone numbers and family member numbers we know we can depend on. Because I’m paranoid of the world—we also went over scenarios on what to do if we are in one of those situations.
I know, I know. This could be one of my “moments”. But, again, this world of ours… is bloodcurdling sometimes. Evil comes in all shapes and sizes. You never know who might be wearing the devil’ mask.