The Cycle of Failure… ENDs Today.
Believe it or not, I’ve been thinking about blogging for a while. Every post I scraped together, I end up trashing it. This happened a lot with everything I mustered to do; writing, work, drawing, exercising. My passions are stomped by own procrastination. I’m not sure if that’s entirely the truth.
It’s an addiction. I’ve been starting and stopping my whole life. Never following through with anything. It took me this long to figured it out and honestly, I’m glad the realization hit a little later than far away where the chances of it being too late is over 60%
So, my goals are shifted. I want to get out of this addiction of never following through. Success and failure and the fear that comes with it is all part of life. Fear of losing or even succeeding, is proof the obstacle ahead means a lot that we care about it—negatively or otherwise. And I have a lot of feelings—more than I thought.
A few days ago; part of this eye opening experience, for the first time, I spoke about what was REALLY in my head. All the emotions and how I perceived them, I wanted to share with my future hubby, Jackson.
Sadly, it only confused him no matter how hard he wanted to understand. He couldn’t. The way I process and how I speak is out of the normal for most. Even at work, people ask me to repeat because they don’t understand.
Not going to lie, it discourages me. One of the reasons why I don’t like speaking out loud and why I love to write. Now that I KNOW why I feel that way, I don’t want to change who I am. I like the shrew woman I’ve become.
So, I figured out a piece of myself. Awesome. What now? Not sure. Where I’m going to head or how I’ll get there is still a mystery too. The path cemented is a different story from anything I tried to plan. There’s only one way to get to the comfortable lifestyle I want to be at and that is to follow through with perseverance. Through all the muck and rocks life throws at me. I’m nervous, but excited to see how far I can go with this little thing call hard work.
It’s a new start without any outlining besides the memento in my thoughts that all my hard work WILL pay off—someday.
This is where my story actually begins. Let the journey commence! #hw1