The Strangest And Weirdest Dream I Ever Had

A couple of nights ago, I overate while typing up a discussion post for the course I am taking. If anyone is wondering what the heck I’m talking about, I’ll be more than happy to share. For the past year I’ve been trying to become “healthier”. Which in fact means, I want to feel good about myself when I look into a mirror, be able to beat my seven year-old son in a race … and look nice in a two piece bikini. Hey, I’m still a woman. I’ve never been small enough to even consider wearing one. It’s just one of those things I want to do before my ashes are scattered over a beautiful garden. Flowers represent so many things to me. I used them a lot in my stories and when I draw. So, it’s only natural that I would want to be scatter over a beautiful garden, hopefully my spirit will walk among them. That’s kind of cool, right? No? Just me?

Okay.

My son is an okay runner. He’s pretty good for his age, a lot better than me. It wouldn’t bother me so much on normal circumstances, but every time we race, he runs far ahead then turns and sticks his tongue at me or say something along the lines, “You have to run faster, mom.” Or my favorite, “If you lose some fat, you’ll run faster.” Keep in mind, he doesn’t mean any harm, but still! Any other parent probably would have smiled and went along with the rest of their day. I sulked on his words. It reminds me of my job. Every day, without fail, I get some little trouble maker. They come in, asked their parents if they can get an item or two. The parents turn them down and the first thing they do is wreak havoc all over the store, which I have to go back in clean after them. It’s one thing if it’s unintended, but come on. He clearly saw me looking and knocked over all those damn puzzles, batteries, and pens onto the floor. Then he walks back in line with his parents with an innocence face. According to store policies and regulations, parenting other people’s children is prohibited. So, I’m stuck with an attitude and a huge mess to clean. Awesome. The life of a minimum wage employee. Being able to run alongside my son, and preferably beating him once or twice, will be my own little victory.

My initial weight loss goal is to get around one hundred sixty pounds, maybe one fifty. Currently, I am two hundred and forty-nine. Originally I was two hundred and fifty-three pounds before this weird ass dream occurred (excuse my language if it offends you, but this is me). It literally scared the cravings right out of me. I’ve recanted this dream many times to my friends and family that’s how vivid I remember it. Even now the images is burned to the back of my eyelids.

Dreams are strange in itself. One minute you’re at a friend’s house, the next minute your locking lips with this faceless guy, and the next you’re swimming in a pool you now have in your backyard. I’m telling you, dreams are sooo complicated. Most people doesn’t even remember their dream when they wake up.

I wish that happened to me. I rather wake up to haze remnants of what occurred while I was sleep then every gruesome detail. *shakes head and mutters the word cow over and over again*

Okay, here’s what happened:

I’m surrounded by gnarly trees and a crumbling landscape. There’s bushes, but they are dried and dead looking. The night sky looms over the area like a large wool blanket. There are no stars. Barely a moon, most of it is hidden behind dark clouds. I’m definitely in a field of some sort.  Around me are three other people, faceless of course, and a car. We’re standing around, waiting, panicking.

At this point I am aware that I am in a dream. I’m looking around wondering what the hell everyone else is afraid of and at the same time, I’m trying to wake up.

In the distance someone is running toward us. She’s panting heavily, sweat dripping, eyes bulge with fear. I can see her face, but I don’t recall who she resembles. She looks like the everyday face of a person I don’t know. As she’s running, she looks behind her and trips, stumbling to the ground. The faceless people around me gasp, then gestures frantically for her to get up and hurry.

This is where the dream turns to Freakville.

The faceless people panic, two of them vomit because they are so frightened. Now, I’m freaking out, because no one still wants to get in the car. Why?!

The woman is in close range, but she trips and falls again. She looks behind her, screams, and then gets up and huffs her way to us. By this time I see something moving in the distant behind her. I squint. It’s a… cow?

A harmless cow grazing on the withered vegetation.

At this point, I’m freaking out alongside everyone else. Maybe there really is something chasing her. And if it comes here it’ll chase me too.

Moments later the woman pops up next to me. My eyes widen and I step back, the cow is right here too.  I’m ready to wake up. It’s not fun nor interesting anymore, especially when people and COWS pop up out of nowhere. Because I know, I am dreaming, it makes it so much worse.

The faceless people gasps and whispers to the woman to get out of the car. I turn to the car and she’s sitting in the back seat. Her back is up against the door, she’s breathing heavy and scared to move. The cow’s upper body half is in the car, well mostly its head. The cow is eyeing the woman with curiosity or no thought at all with big, black, beady eyes.

The woman fidgets to open the door and stops when the cow leans forward. There’s a brief silence and then the cow takes a bite out of her face as if it was grazing on some piece of grass. The weird thing about this is, the cow chewed her dismembered part nonchalantly. Like this was the type of thing cows did. They just eat people faces and stuff.

I’m telling you, there weren’t any fangs or monstrous facial parts. The cow didn’t even have any crazed look. It was a normal cow.

Seriously! Who dreams of stuff like this? Well, I do of course… *shake my head*

I think I had this dream, because I overate. It was my conscious way of telling me to stop. By far this is one of the freakiest, strangest, and most effective warnings my conscious has ever produced. I’m not down with flesh-eating cows. Therefore, I will not be overeating again.

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