Look What Backfired? | We Are Humans, Communication IS A Must
Hey guys, been a while. A couple of updates and a little rant is coming, so you have been warned.
First I want to start off saying that I hope it doesn’t seem like I’m posting everything about my life. However, I do post more than others. Why? Not because I am brave or starving for attention that’s for sure. To be honest, it’s a needed stress reliever. I’m not social, I don’t have a lot of friends outside of the virtual world, but that’s the way I like it. Many times I rather write about the situations that have elated me or caused me pain or to express enjoyment for the things I care about in life. It’s easier for me to communicate this. Sometimes, talking to people in-person leaves more upset than writing or chatting out.
This morning I was slapped by the harsh realization of life. Unfortunately, that go-lucky plan I had to only have a part-time job back fired and left me in a sticky situation. So, today, in my rant, I’ll be talking about a few things about life that I’ve wanted to share. I hope you guys can at least take one thing out of my dreadful predicament. Because it’s not about how bad the situation is, but what we learn and how we grow from it.
On one of my social media sites, Facebook, I wrote: Came to the realization that sadly the world does revolve around money. Looks like if I want to accomplish my goals, I’m going to have whip out the elbow grease and work harder.
I truly realized what kind of situation I was in, and it isn’t a very good one. For those who are thinking, why is she posting things like this? No one wants to read about her going through hard times. True. But this blog is generated not only for my writing, but my life and everything I find precious (much like my social media). This world as big as it is, was made smaller with the help of the internet. I’ve thought about the slim chances of my book or designs becoming global and I want to make my imprint on my life before the media or any other scandal try to embellish my image. It could happen. Plus, I am an open book. Like I said before, I don’t post everything because that’ll be weird, but I do post significant memories. Memories that I want to remember. Memories that’ll always remind me why I’m doing this. What better way to keep to organize then with a publicized blog? It’s a two for one deal. *averts eyes to the left and smile nervously* what could possibly go wrong?
Hmmm, let’s see… J
Getting back to the original concept. I have failed and detoured from my original goal seeking path. I slacked off. Gave way to the caution of the wind, allowing someone close to me to whisper words of no concern. I believed that that person was going to help me in the long run once I did what they wanted me to do. In the end, of course, everything came crashing around me. Bills started to get behind and I was left holding the empty wallet and excuses. Sadly, this is the realization of life. I hate to admit it, but this world thrives on money. Life isn’t about money, but without it life would be a struggle and depress. No one can’t, or I can’t, live off minimum wage alone, especially when I have two children to raise. I don’t want to put back my schooling, nor do I want to stop writing for myself altogether. So that leaves me with option A; find a full-time job at home. But that means I’ll spend over forty hours a week sitting, which contradicts with my goal of becoming healthy. You see the issue I am having. Gah!
But that’s only a fracture of my concerns. My biggest issue is my relationship with my future hubby and my best friend. They don’t see eye to eye. In fact, they both want the other person out of my life. I’m not extremely comfortable yet to discuss in detail. However, what I can say is that one of them is unmotivated and lack ambition. That person rather sit around and do absolutely nothing but goof off then be financial stable. And their outlook on life has rubbed me in ways that deteriorated the progress of my own goals. The other person is goal driven and encourages me to stay on that path. They see the potential in me and wants me to keep going forward for a happier lifestyle. The thing is, to do so, I might have to drop the other person, which is complicated in other ways too. They are the complete opposite of each other but they are everything to me. Without them my family wouldn’t be complete.
Before you go off with doubt about my decision read my so-called lesson below.
We are human. Humans are sociable creatures. It’s embedded in our genetics. We cannot live without the companionship of others. Believe me, I have tried. When we are surrounded with people that love us and wants to see the best in us, it encourages us to do our best. We are motivated and will happily overcome any obstacle because of them. On the other hand, being alone or surrounded with people who half care about us does the opposite. They only seek our company when it benefits them, and thus we feel unwanted or used. But because they are the only ones in our life, we secretly don’t want them to leave in fear of being of alone. It’s not easy to let go of someone that we care so much for. It’s even harder when they are not intentionally trying to do the things they are doing. Maybe they planned to slack off now and be focused later. It doesn’t make them a bad person, just that the goals they have set and what we have set, have curved from the path we have originally walked on together. Now, things gets harder, not impossible. A lot of us tend to step out of the lives that detour from our on. Sometimes out of love and sometimes because we can’t stand to see them suffer. That’s life. But that doesn’t mean we have to leave the person we love, at least not yet. It also doesn’t mean we have to give up on our dreams either.
I’m am telling you this from my own experience. Like I said, we are humans. Companionship is one of things we strive for in life, yet, it’s the most difficult and a lot harder to manage.
That is my predicament.
I am well aware of my situation. I am also aware of the losses and the ripples it will cause later on life. The thing is, how to get over it without doing a lot of damage. I’m going to be working on this for the next couple of weeks. About the part-time job; I think I found an option B, another part-time to add with my first one that won’t add any additional headache, plus it pays a lot more. The place won’t start hiring until sometime next month, so I have plenty enough time to look for alternatives in case that doesn’t work out (keeping fingers cross that it does, though). I can always go back to working from home, but eh, I’m afraid of giving in to the laziness of sitting down.
This, my friends, concludes my rant. I hope it wasn’t too bizarre to digest.
Updates, there won’t be a WIPpet Wednesday tomorrow, but I am doing one-liner Wednesday. I haven’t found a decent excerpt to post or I feel comfortable enough sharing.
Writing goals, I plan to finish the outline of One Mind Two Names, I think I can really enhance with a little planning and figuring who my protagonist / antagonist are and their motives. The goal is to have the outline and revised chapters completed by July 2. I’m still rewriting Tellus: Budding Rose. I don’t have a completion date, but I want to at least do a chapter a day.
Other projects, I’ve also start working on editing the dozens of flowers I have taken in Adobe Lightroom and Photoshop. I’ve been seeing a lot of professional photographs and that has inspired me.
In the midst of all this, I’ll be writing down posts and have them scheduled to be posted. I think that’ll help a lot and keep me posting regularly. *inhales deeply and then exhales* so, glad I got that out of my system.